The short answer
Ask your guests what they need rather than guessing: one open question on the reply card or your wedding website, then a personal follow-up. Check the venue for step-free routes, accessible restrooms, seating and parking, and pass on what you find with the details you send. For children, decide who is invited, then plan their seats, food, a quiet space and who looks after them.
How do you ask wedding guests about access needs?
Ask one open question, such as "Is there anything that would make the day easier for you?", on the reply card, your wedding website or in a message. An open question lets a guest tell you about a wheelchair, a hearing aid, a need to sit, a service animal or a need for a quiet room without having to choose from a list you wrote.
Follow up personally with anyone who answers, and with guests you know may need something but have not said. Ask only what you need to plan, and pass on to vendors only what they need to act on. Record what you agreed beside the guest’s row, so it does not depend on anyone remembering.
What should you check at the venue?
Walk the venue with access in mind, or ask the venue to answer in writing. Follow the route a guest would take from the car or the drop-off point to the ceremony, the reception, the restrooms and back, and note any steps, slopes, gravel, grass or narrow doors along it. Ask what is available that you cannot see, such as a portable ramp or a lift key.
For an outdoor ceremony, check the ground in the season of your wedding, and ask how a guest using a wheelchair or a walker would reach their seat. If something on the route cannot change, plan around it, such as a different entrance or a seat near the front, and tell the guest beforehand.
- A step-free route between each part of the day
- Accessible restrooms, and where they are
- Parking or a drop-off point near the entrance
- Seats with backs, and seats near the front
- Lighting along paths after dark
- A sound system, and any hearing support
- A quiet room away from the music
- Ground for outdoor parts in your season
What helps guests with access needs on the day?
Reserve seats for the guests who need them, near the aisle, the front or an exit as they prefer, and tell the ushers who they are. Share the day’s schedule ahead, with how long each part lasts, where the restrooms are and when there will be a chance to sit or eat, so guests can plan their energy.
Consider a large-print program, captions or an interpreter for the ceremony if a guest asks, and a microphone for every speaker, including readers. Ask someone to be the person guests can find if they need help, and introduce them before the day.
How do you say which children are invited?
The names on the envelope say who is invited, so name the children you are inviting. If you are not inviting children, naming only the adults says it, and a line on your wedding website can say it plainly, such as "We love your little ones, but this celebration is for adults." If you make exceptions, such as babies in arms or children in the wedding party, say so the same way.
Decide early, before save-the-dates, so families with children can plan childcare or travel. The children and headcount guide covers how children count toward catering and venue numbers.
How do you plan for children who are coming?
Ask the venue how many high chairs and booster seats it has, and the caterer whether it offers children’s meals and at what age a child counts as an adult. Seat children with their parents or at a table of their own near them, and put a few quiet activities on the table, such as coloring sheets, for the long stretch of dinner.
Look at the venue with children in mind: water, stairs, roads, candles and open fires. If you want childcare during the reception, a separate room with a sitter is one option; ask the venue whether it allows it, and check the sitter’s agreement covers the hours, the number of children and what happens if a child is unwell.
How do you pass guests’ needs on to vendors?
Give each vendor what they need to act on, and no more. The venue needs the number of reserved seats, the route you want kept clear and any equipment you asked for. The caterer needs meal counts, including children’s meals and dietary needs, by table. The photographer needs to know who should be seated for group photos.
Send this in writing a week or two before the final count, and confirm it in the final walkthrough. The dietary restrictions guide covers what to send the caterer.
Guest needs plan
Use one row for a decision or deliverable. Keep unanswered items visible. Download the blank worksheet to open in Excel, Numbers or Google Sheets.
On a small screen, swipe the worksheet sideways to see the remaining columns.
| Need | Guests (initials) | Who arranges it | Vendor told | Confirmed |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Step-free route | — | — | — | — |
| Accessible restroom | — | — | — | — |
| Reserved seating | — | — | — | — |
| Parking or drop-off | — | — | — | — |
| Hearing support or captions | — | — | — | — |
| Large-print program | — | — | — | — |
| Quiet room | — | — | — | — |
| High chairs or booster seats | — | — | — | — |
| Children’s meals | — | — | — | — |
| Childcare during the reception | — | — | — | — |
A message you can make your own
Change the wording to suit you, fill in anything in brackets and keep the questions that apply. You decide what to send and send it yourself.
Hi, some of our guests have access needs, and a few children will be coming. Could you tell us about step-free routes between the ceremony, the reception and the restrooms, where the accessible restrooms and parking are, whether seats with backs and a quiet room are available, and how many high chairs or booster seats you have? A floor plan or photos would help us share the details with guests.
Common questions
How do you ask wedding guests about accessibility?
Ask wedding guests about accessibility with one open question on the reply card or your wedding website, such as "Is there anything that would make the day easier for you?", then follow up personally. An open question lets guests tell you what they need without choosing from a list.
What should a wedding venue have for wheelchair users?
For wheelchair users, check that the venue has a step-free route from the drop-off to the ceremony, the reception and the restrooms, an accessible restroom, space at a table and a clear view of the ceremony. Ask the guest what they need too, since they know their own chair and needs better than any checklist.
How do you say no kids on a wedding invitation?
Say no kids on a wedding invitation by naming only the adults on the envelope and reply card, and add a line on your wedding website, such as "this celebration is for adults". Say the same thing to families who ask, and tell them early so they can arrange childcare.
Should a wedding have a kids’ table?
A kids’ table is one option: older children may enjoy one, while younger ones may be happier beside their parents. If you have one, put it near the parents’ tables, give it an adult to check in, and put activities on it for the long stretch of dinner.
Do children need their own meals at a wedding?
Whether children have their own meals depends on what your caterer offers and how it counts children. Ask whether there is a children’s menu, at what age a child is charged as an adult, and whether high chairs count as seats. Put the answers beside your counts.