The short answer
Work back from your own dates rather than a rule. The earliest final-count deadline in your vendor contracts sets your reply-by date, the reply-by date sets when invitations must reach guests, and mailing time sets when to send them. Save-the-dates go out once the date and place are fixed, early enough for the guests who travel farthest to plan around them.
How do you work out when to send wedding invitations?
Start at the end. Find the earliest final-count deadline in your vendor contracts, such as the caterer’s or the venue’s, and count back the days you want for chasing late replies and finishing seating: that is your reply-by date. Count back the weeks you want guests to have to reply, and you have the date invitations should be in their hands. Count back the mailing time, and you have the date to send them.
For example, a hypothetical wedding on Saturday, October 16, 2027 has a final count due 14 days before, on Saturday, October 2. Twelve days to chase replies gives a reply-by date of Monday, September 20. Four weeks to reply means invitations in guests’ hands by Monday, August 23, and 5 days in the mail means sending them by Wednesday, August 18, 2027.
When do save-the-dates go out?
Send save-the-dates once your date and place are fixed, which means the venue contract is signed, not just a date held. Before that, a change of date means a second card. How early to send them depends on your guests: people flying in, booking time off or arranging childcare need longer notice than people who live nearby, and a holiday weekend or a destination wedding needs more again.
A save-the-date can be a card, an email or a page on your wedding website. Whatever the form, give the date, the town and a line saying an invitation will follow, and add accommodation details if guests will need to book.
Who should get a save-the-date?
Send a save-the-date only to people you are certain to invite. It is a promise of an invitation, and taking it back is harder than not sending it. If your guest list is still changing, send save-the-dates to the people you are sure of first, and the rest with their invitations.
Address a save-the-date to the same people the invitation will name. If a guest will be invited with a plus-one or with children, say so on the save-the-date too, so nobody plans around a different answer.
How long does mailing take for wedding invitations?
Mailing time is your own figure: ask your post office or stationer how long delivery takes from where you will mail, and add more for guests abroad. Mail one finished invitation to yourself or a friend a few weeks early, to see how long it takes and how it arrives.
Have one assembled invitation weighed and measured at the post office before you buy stamps, since a heavy, square or thick envelope can need extra postage. If you include a reply card, its envelope needs postage too, unless guests reply online.
When should you order printed invitations?
Work back from your send-by date. Ask the stationer for the latest date to approve a proof, how many proof rounds they allow, and how long printing and delivery take after approval. Add the time you need to address, assemble, stamp and seal them, which for a long list can take several evenings.
Approve the proof only after checking each name, the date, the weekday, the time and the address against your own records. Order a few extra invitations and envelopes for mistakes and keepsakes.
- Send-by date
- Addressing and assembly finished
- Printed invitations delivered
- Proof approved
- Wording and guest list final
- Save-the-dates sent
Can save-the-dates and invitations be sent by email?
Save-the-dates and invitations can be sent by email or shared through a wedding website, on their own or alongside paper. Use the same dates either way. A mix works too: paper for relatives who prefer it, email for everyone else.
If you send by email, check that each message reaches the right person, and give the reply-by date in the message itself, not only on a website. Follow up with anyone who has not opened it.
Invitation timing
Use one row for a decision or deliverable. Keep unanswered items visible. Download the blank worksheet to open in Excel, Numbers or Google Sheets.
On a small screen, swipe the worksheet sideways to see the remaining columns.
| Step | Date | Worked back from | Done |
|---|---|---|---|
| Earliest final-count deadline | — | — | — |
| Reply-by date | — | — | — |
| Invitations in guests’ hands | — | — | — |
| Invitations mailed | — | — | — |
| Addressing and assembly finished | — | — | — |
| Printing delivered | — | — | — |
| Proof approved | — | — | — |
| Save-the-dates sent | — | — | — |
A message you can make your own
Change the wording to suit you, fill in anything in brackets and keep the questions that apply. You decide what to send and send it yourself.
Hi, we need our wedding invitations in the mail by [date]. Could you tell us the latest date to approve a proof, how many proof rounds are included, and how long printing and delivery take after approval? Please also let us know the finished size and weight of the invitation with its enclosures, so we can check postage, and whether you can address envelopes from a spreadsheet.
Common questions
How far in advance should you send save-the-dates?
Send save-the-dates once your date and venue are signed, and early enough for your guests to plan: people flying in or booking time off need longer than people nearby, and a holiday weekend or destination wedding needs more again. Choose a date with your farthest guests in mind rather than a rule.
When should wedding invitations be mailed?
Mail wedding invitations by the date you get when you work back from your earliest final-count deadline: subtract your days to chase replies, then the weeks guests have to reply, then mailing time. The RSVP deadline tool does that arithmetic for your own dates and gives you a send-by date.
When should RSVPs be due for a wedding?
RSVPs should be due early enough before your earliest final-count deadline to chase missing replies and finish seating. How many days that takes depends on your guest list and who does the follow-up, so choose the gap yourself and count back from the deadline in your contract.
Do people who got a save-the-date still get an invitation?
People who got a save-the-date still get an invitation, because the save-the-date promises one. That is why save-the-dates go only to people you are certain to invite. The invitation then carries the full details and the reply-by date.
What if wedding invitations go out late?
If wedding invitations go out late, keep the reply-by date that your final count needs and give guests a quicker way to reply, such as your wedding website or a text. Tell close family and the guests who travel farthest straight away, and follow up personally with anyone who has not replied close to the date.