The short answer
A wedding registry is a list of gifts you would welcome, kept by a store or a registry site, that guests can buy from. Before you sign up, read who holds the list, how returns and unbought items work, what the site charges, and what guests see. Add gifts across a range of prices, put the link on your wedding website, and record each gift as it arrives.
How does a wedding registry work?
You choose items and add them to a list held by a store or a registry site. Guests open the list, buy an item, and the list marks it as bought so nobody else buys the same one. The item ships to you, or to the guest to bring, depending on what the guest chooses and what the site allows.
The store or site holds the list, the orders and the record of who bought what. That makes its terms the ones that matter: how returns work, what it charges, what it shows guests and what it does when the wedding is over. Read them before you add anything.
What should you read before you sign up for a registry?
Read the registry’s own terms rather than its summary. Look for how returns and exchanges work for gifts bought from your list, and for how long; whether a fee is charged to you or to guests; who pays for shipping; and what happens to the list and to unbought items after the wedding date.
Check what guests see: your names, the date, a shipping address, or a note from you. Check whether the site lets you download a list of gifts and who sent them, which makes thank-you notes much simpler. If you use more than one registry, check each one, since their terms can differ.
- Returns and exchanges for registry gifts, and the time limit
- Any fee to you or to guests
- Who pays for shipping
- What guests see on your list
- Where gifts ship, and when
- Whether you can download gifts and givers
- What happens to the list after the wedding
What should you put on a wedding registry?
Add things you will use, in quantities that make sense for your home, across a range of prices so every guest can find something within their budget. If you want a set, such as plates or glasses, add the quantity you want so guests can buy part of it. Larger items can be bought by a group if the site allows it.
Look at the list as a guest would: on a phone, sorted by price, with only what is left. If the cheaper items sell first, add more of them. Review the list again before invitations go out and again a few weeks before the wedding.
How do you tell guests about your registry?
Where you share the registry is your choice. A link on your wedding website lets guests find it when they want it; a line on a shower invitation or a reply to someone who asks works too. Wherever you put it, give the registry’s name and a link, not a list of items.
If you have more than one registry, say why in a line, such as one for the kitchen and one for the garden. If guests will travel to the wedding, mention that gifts can be shipped to you, so nobody has to carry a box on a plane.
What if you would rather not have gifts?
If you would rather not have gifts, say so in your own words on your wedding website, such as "Your company is the gift; please do not bring anything." A guest may want to give something anyway, so decide how you will thank them and record what they give.
If you would like guests to give to a cause instead, name it and give its own link. Keep the wording short and warm, and leave the choice to the guest.
How do you keep track of registry gifts?
Record each gift the day it arrives: who it is from, what it is, and the date. A registry’s list of buyers helps, but a gift bought off the list, brought to a shower or left at the wedding will not be on it. The gift tracking guide covers what to record and how.
If you return or exchange a gift, keep the original giver on your list so they are still thanked for it. Do not mention a return in the thank-you note; thank them for their thought and the gift they chose.
Registry comparison
Use one row for a decision or deliverable. Keep unanswered items visible. Download the blank worksheet to open in Excel, Numbers or Google Sheets.
On a small screen, swipe the worksheet sideways to see the remaining columns.
| Question | Registry 1 | Registry 2 |
|---|---|---|
| Who holds the list | — | — |
| Returns and exchanges, and the time limit | — | — |
| Fees to us or to guests | — | — |
| Shipping, and who pays | — | — |
| What guests see | — | — |
| Gifts marked as bought | — | — |
| Download of gifts and givers | — | — |
| What happens after the wedding | — | — |
A message you can make your own
Change the wording to suit you, fill in anything in brackets and keep the questions that apply. You decide what to send and send it yourself.
Hi, we are thinking of setting up our wedding registry with you. Could you tell us how returns and exchanges work for registry gifts, and for how long; whether any fee is charged to us or to guests; who pays for shipping; and whether we can download a list of gifts and who sent them, for our thank-you notes? Thank you.
Common questions
When should you set up a wedding registry?
Set up a wedding registry before you send save-the-dates or invitations if you plan to share the link on your wedding website, so guests who look for it find it. You can keep adding to it afterward. If you are having a shower, have it ready before those invitations go out.
How many items should be on a wedding registry?
There is no number of items a wedding registry needs. Add what you would use, across a range of prices, and look at what is left as gifts are bought. If the lower-priced items run out, add more, so guests shopping later still have choices.
Can you have more than one wedding registry?
You can have more than one wedding registry, such as one for the kitchen and one for travel gear. Read each one’s terms, link both from your wedding website with a line about what each is for, and track gifts from both on one list.
Is it okay not to have a wedding registry?
It is fine not to have a wedding registry. Say what you would prefer in your own words on your wedding website, whether that is no gifts or a cause you would like guests to support. A guest may still bring something, so plan how to record and thank them.
What happens to registry items nobody buys?
What happens to registry items nobody buys depends on the registry’s terms. The list may stay open for a time after the wedding, and the terms may say whether you can still buy the items yourself. Read this before you sign up, and decide whether to close the list when the wedding is over.